Hangouts should be productive
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Hangouts should be productive
Every evening, somewhere in the city, a group of friends or colleagues or family members, sits down at a tea-stall, a restaurant or a street corner and within minutes a conversation begins related to their families, studies, current affairs, weather, cricket etc. These small, ordinary gatherings happen so often that we rarely stop to notice how much they actually shape and modify us. In Bengali the word mostly used for hangouts is 'Adda'. Adda means social gatherings or hangouts between friends, families, students, teachers etc. 'Adda' or hangouts can be varied by their professions or ages or any other categories. However, the most important thing is the hangout's topic of conversation. The topics can define a friend-circle's choices, topics can define most students' future planning, topics can define society issues or current affairs. And these topics must be productive. So, let's find out the answers to the following questions. How are 'Adda' or hangouts created? Why are the topics the most important elements of 'Adda'? And the most important one, why must the topics of 'Adda' be productive?
Different categories of gatherings are held at tea-stalls or restaurants now-a-days. Also gatherings can take place at the leisure office hours, sudden meet-ups at markets or playgrounds. Between friends, sometimes the place is not a very important thing to start gossiping. But the important thing is the topic of the conversation which will be started any moment after finishing the social greetings. Sometimes, the topics are chosen by participants of the circle. Students can discuss studies, players can talk about their strategies or office workers can discuss their social and family problems. But mostly 'adda' has a different concept. It is not always meant to be held depending on a particular topic or targeting a topic. Most people or circles generate their topics all of a sudden depending on the current affairs or weather or any other subject related to the group's choices. Another point needs to be noted, generating a topic does not always depend on everyone in the circle. Anyone can start talking about anything and others can carry on that topic in any direction or divert to another topic related or not related to the first one. The situation is mostly random and scattered. But that is not the issue. The concerning matter is that the overall discussion should be positive and productive. This productivity and positivity reflects an individual's daily routine, new ideas, social awareness, knowledge about current affairs.
One thing needs to be absolutely clear that any topic has psychological impact. When a bunch of students of the same class are discussing their subjects or home-works, new ideas arise. Arguments between them related to their topics will develop their concepts and basics. They will develop group management mentality and leadership quality. In the same way, when a circle of friends discuss anything related to social awareness, history or current affairs, that will enrich their general knowledge and contribution to the social activities. In this process, not only young people will develop maturity, but also it has impacts over the mature aged people. Random gatherings mostly don't have any common ground to start something. Mostly in the random and scattered gatherings topic starts related to current affairs of the whole world. The beginning of something is not very important. The important part is to carry on the topic and participate in the arguments with related information, experiences and new ideas. Sometimes, it is not mandatory to talk or create disturbance when others are discussing. Listening is also a very important practice in our daily behavior. Everyone should listen to what others are saying. Good listening is a very good participation. Sometimes, the most meaningful contribution to an 'Adda' is a carefully considered sentence spoken after several minutes of silence. A productive hangout gives people enough space to speak, disagree, question and listen.
We are social beings and our human characteristics try to dominate everything. Sometimes in the circle of friends or students, some guys try their best to dominate the conversation. They do not listen to others. They always try to interfere with others, trying to prove their dominance and talk loudly. They start irrelevant topics just to interfere with the other guy who is throwing some good information and ideas. Often, the good speakers have different ways to defend this kind of interference. But most introvert guys remain silent in front of those types of disturbing characteristics even if they have very important information or ideas about the ongoing topics. That is when the gatherings get negative and these types of gatherings don't lead people to any kind of productivity. This kind of negativity rarely stays at the tea-stall, it travels home with us and quietly shapes our mood for the rest of the day. Negative 'Adda' messes with our head when we go home or start our daily routine. Because, the most important thing of hangouts we all should remember, a productive gathering or hangout or 'Adda' doesn't end when people leave. It continues in the ideas they carry home or other places.
So, domination and not listening to others sometimes make hangouts non-productive. And this non-productivity leads to negativity. There are many other formats of non-productive hangouts. Constant gossiping about some personal matters of other people who are not present in the group is the one of the most dangerous formats of negative topics. Students and the younger generation must avoid these kinds of hangouts. This type of discussion increases negativity in characteristics. These kinds of gatherings can be fully comparable to wasting time. Some other formats of non-productive topics are humiliation of others, unnecessary arguments, misinformation, hatred, excessive criticism and conversations etc. These types of gatherings must be avoided. These will make a heavy impact negatively on the characters of the participants of the gatherings. Some people often try to get the attention of others by contributing lots of information to the group. But, others must verify that information if they don't want to fall for a trap of an attention seeking personality. Gatherings should avoid this kind of personality also. Another thing students and young people should remember very carefully. Sometimes good and productive hangouts can turn out to be non-productive, if they waste a lot of time there. Any hangouts or social gatherings should have time limits. Participants should be concerned about their personal time and family. Excessive hangouts can destroy a good potential youngster, although he is having some good mentality friends. So, the younger generation and students need to maintain time as well.
Now, a question can be asked. How can a productive hangout or social gathering be generated? More specifically, when a hangout or gathering can be declared as positive and productive? Actually, 'Adda' or hangouts are the miniature version of the society. Different people bring different experiences, professions, ages, opinions and personalities into the circle. One person can bring scientific knowledge, another may bring practical experience, someone else may understand social issues, another may have a completely different cultural or professional perspective. Diversity of thought, in fact, one of the most valuable parts of a productive hangout. Every perspective should be listened to by others. When the perspectives and experiences collide respectfully, new ideas are born. This is why 'Adda' can be much more than a way of passing time. It can become an informal school without classrooms, teachers or examinations. And at that moment, an 'Adda' can be declared as positive and productive. The tea stall can become a classroom, the restaurant can become a discussion room, the office break can become an exchange of ideas. A meeting between friends can become an opportunity to understand the world from another person's perspective. Here location is not that of an important thing. Location mostly does not add value to a hangout but the conversation does. Another question will arise here. Should every hangout be productive? Absolutely not. We do not need to calculate the productivity of every conversation. People sometimes need to talk about something completely meaningless. Sometimes laughing together for an hour is itself valuable. Social relationships are strengthened through these apparently insignificant moments. People also need to cry. Sometimes talking about frustrations and losses with friends can be very relaxing. So, we can conclude as this, the goal is not to eliminate the fun whereas, the goal is to add value to the fun. One can talk about movies, talk about football, talk about food, talk about the weather, laugh about an old memory. The positivity will come from inside, the feelings will be great and the mind will be fresh. Sometimes these things will be much more valuable than information transfer or solving mysteries.
One question can disturb the readers. Why are the topics of the gatherings so important? How does positivity and negativity impact human brains? What is the connection between personal life and social gatherings? All of these questions have only one answer and that is just one word. The Subconscious. What we talk about, what we feel, what we eat, what we watch, everything that we do, is followed by the subconscious mind. In the easy way, we can tell, our brain records everything. The recorded files in our brain are used by the subconscious mind to format and develop our daily routine. They are used to build up our thoughts, generate ideas and growth of mentality. So, when a group of people is discussing something they are creating memories and their brains record them to enrich their subconscious. Then the memories are used to create positive or negative thoughts. Another important thing is related to the overall situation. The human brain does not treat every conversation equally. Information that attracts attention, creates emotion, challenges an existing belief or is repeatedly discussed, has a greater chance of influencing what we remember and what we think. This is the reason why the subjects we repeatedly discuss with the people around us can gradually become part of our mental habits. So, when a meaningful and informative topic is being discussed, it helps to build up positivity in characteristics. When the young students think about a mathematical equation or a social affair, they unknowingly develop their power of thinking and solve problems in their daily lives. In the same way, when a friend circle gathers and talks about productive ideas, they can contribute to the social affairs and development of the country. Also they can improve their general knowledge and presentation capability. Moreover, productive ideas have an impact on people's families. Those who have a positive mentality, do have the capability to maintain their family in a good manner. These are also connected to their behavior to their family members, neighbors and friends. In this sense, every hangout is quietly training us for how we behave everywhere else like at home, at work or in society. This is why the environment we create during hangouts or 'Adda', matters more than we usually realize. A conversation may appear to be temporary, but the ideas discussed during the conversation can remain with us long after everyone has gone home.
In conclusion, it can be said that the real meaning of productive hangouts does not mean turning every gathering into a classroom or a meeting. The real meaning of a productive 'Adda' is much simpler. It is "after spending time together, the participants should carry something positive with them." It could be a new idea, it could be useful information about current affairs, it could be a different perspective about life, it could be motivation, it could be awareness about society. Even sometimes, it could be a simple realization about oneself. And at last, sometimes, it could be simple happiness.
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